You went away.
Today I signed on a piece of paper that broke the link that I had with you. Perhaps it was already broken. The signature was the last ritual. I almost broke into tears as I put pen to the paper. But alas, I couldn’t. And I could see that you were happy. Happy to be promoted. Happy to succeed. Your ambition fuels you. If your ambitions are not fulfilled, you feel sense of loss.
And, yet you preach. You preach patience. You preach belief. You tell me to wait. Tell me honestly, could you?
I was disheartened. Totally. I can see the happiness. Did you feel bad even for a moment for me? Didnt you feel as if you are betraying me? And, the ignition. Lol..you took the bait – Hook line and sinker.
Today you demonstrated your priorities- you love your recognition more than you do love me. Imagine if I had done the same. You’d be nowhere. I reestablished you in front of SPSJ. Does MKB knows that I did all the job you proudly showed him as yours ? Do you think BSP would have won vayoshrestha without me ?
Sorry to puncture holes in your deflated ego, but you will learn one day that nothing works like grace. You know, often our actions results into reactions that are borne by our kids.
You says one’s locus should be internal. Hell. Is it yours? Yours is fully external. You are like a social butterfly who is enthralled at attention, who revels in it and fails to acknowledge her real source of strength.
May the almighty give sadbuddhi to you. May it fuel your ambition into a raging fire which consumes all that you love and hold sacred.
Good bye dear girl. It was good while it lasted.